Addiction to Venting Self Help Articles | April 16 Mike Edwards Jersey , 2007 Do you find yourself venting to your friends or allowing your friends to vent to you? Discover how venting is an addiction and doesn't do the venter or the ventee any good in the long run.
"I was up too late with my friend Peg last night," Abigail told me in our phone session. "She was needing to vent. Then I had a problem falling asleep, but at least I was there for her."
"How often does this happen?" I asked her.
"Oh, fairly often. At least every couple of weeks."
"Why do you continue to listen to her?"
"Isn't that what a good friend does?"
"How do you feel when you listen to her?"
"Kind of stressed."
"Do you see it helping her to vent to you over and over?'
"Well Jamel Dean Jersey , she says she feels better after I listen to her."
"Of course she feels better! She has just dumped all her stress onto you. She goes to sleep and you are up with her stress. But do you see anything actually changing in her life as a result of you allowing her to vent to you?"
"No!"
"Abigail, if what Peg wanted to do every couple of weeks was come over and get drunk at your house, would you allow this?"
"No! But that's different."
"It's not different. Peg is using venting as an addiction to avoid taking responsibility for her feelings. She is not spending the time with you exploring what she is doing that is creating her upsets. She is not learning about what she can do differently so that she doesn't reach the point of anger and anxiety that she then dumps on you. There is no learning or change happening. And, your stress in response to the venting Sean Murphy-Bunting Jersey , is letting you know that listening to this is not good for you either."
"I have had a feeling that this was not working well for me, but I don't know what to do. Peg is my good friend and I don?t want to let her down. What can I say to her?"
"Well, how about, 'Peg Devin White Jersey , I know that when you vent and I listen to you, you feel better for awhile. But I end up feeling worse. I love you and I want to be here for you, but it seems to me that the venting is not getting you anywhere ? that is it an addiction just like using sugar to feel better for the moment but not really dealing with the issue. I'm here for you if you want real help in dealing with the issues, but I don't want to be at the other end of your venting any more.' Is that something you would be willing to say?"
"I think so. But she might be mad at me."
"Yes O. J. Howard Jersey , she probably will be mad at you. Most people do not like it when someone calls them on their addictions and refuses to participate in them anymore. Are you willing to have her mad at you? Certainly listening to her vent is not loving to yourself, and therefore not loving to her. It is far more loving to both of you for you to stop enabling her addiction, even if she doesn't think so."
"I know this is what I need to do. But what if she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore?"
"Abigail, what would this tell you about the friendship and about her caring for you?"
"I guess it would tell me that she is using me rather than really caring about me and our friendship."
"Right. If she pulls out of the friendship because you don't want to listen to her vent Vita Vea Jersey , then she is not really a friend. It means that she want to go on being a victim, not taking responsibility for herself and dumping her feelings onto you."
"Okay, I'm going to do this. I am at the point where I want friends who are learning and growing, not friends who are being victims. I guess I have nothing to lose Mike Evans Jersey , and I will get more sleep!
The Valuable Use Of Netbooks Computers Articles | January 11, 2010 Netbooks are a great little invention that allows more options for students and people who just want to carry around something smaller. The netbook is smaller than a laptop but bigger than a Smartphon...
Netbooks are a great little invention that allows more options for students and people who just want to carry around something smaller. The netbook is smaller than a laptop but bigger than a Smartphone which make it the perfect size for a vast majority of people. There are some netbooks that are selling well making them great buys.
Netbooks are smaller than laptops. The screen sit around 10 inches and the frame around the netbook are also smaller. The smaller size allows for easier transportation which is great for commuters who want to use the internet while on the bus or train. There they can comfortably surf the net and stay connected with friends using something small enough to be portable and not be bulky like a laptop.
The Netbook is also bigger than a Smartphone. Smart phones are awesome but can be tricky when you want to email and check the internet in a comfortable way. Sometimes you want bigger keys to press and a larger screen to view. A netbook allows for easy access to the internet while at cafes and book stores, where you might want to lay something on the table beside a book or coffee.
Lots of accessories can be added to a netbook. There are security locks that can be purchase, anti-virus such as the 2010 version designed for netbooks Jameis Winston Jersey , there are also netbook cases and sleeves. You can also find them in many colors, which makes it easier to customize into your lifestyle.
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